Adventures in Stripperland

I finally did it. I went to Acropolis. I've heard about it for years as a resident of this fine city. It has become some sort of a buzz word amongst the shady men that I meet and has reached such a level of fame that it is now referred to as simply "Acrop." I hear about "Acrop" as I'm switching light rail lines, as I'm walking down the street, as I'm passing by under-the-table drug deals.

Acropolis is legendary for another reason altogether. It apparently has the "best steak in town" and at $5 for a 6 ouncer, that is a deal that I, myself, would run around naked for. However, the thought of walking into a white-trash-esque strip joint, as a woman and alone never seemed appealing to me. I mean, if I want to get groped, might as well don my own stripper gear and make some money off of that deal right?

So I finally had the opportunity to go with an entourage of thugs. They wore their chains and workout clothes. (Bonus points for any of you who know why guys like to wear sweat pants to strip joints. But I digress.) I wore a sensible top and jeans, ready to chow down on the "best steak I'd ever have in my life." And it sure was. I was on my second plate of steak as I occasionally glanced up and saw some breasts the size of grapefruits swinging around some pole or bouncing around. It was a combination that was appealing to all 5 of my senses.

It wasn't until I took my last bite that things got a little wild. I waited a few minutes to allow the meat to digest and settle in my belly and decided to sit up front row and center. A Betty Page look alike come out from back and man, could she work it! She was swinging them hips and shaking those coconut sized breasts like no other. Then she did this "laying down" routine that exposed all the strange piercing she had in the nooks and crannies of her body. One guy took a look at one of these piercings and was like "man that's gotta hurt." And she laughed and just said "yea I'm like a jewelry box." She sure was and she got paid handsomely for it. Or at least I hope she got tipped out with some of that 20% of the $10 I spent there. Bravo Betty, bravo!