I'm a strict believer in the scientific method. I observe, I hypothesize, I experiment, and then I draw a conclusion. I am going to step you through this method, which I used to explain the phenomenon that continues to perplex me of any reasonable outright explanation: Why does Tyra Banks continue to get air time in order to suck the fat out of women's brains and injecting it into their butts?
Here is a simple breakdown of my ponderance:
I. Observation:
Tyra Banks is a complete idiot and yet women continue to worship her as if she were the Queen of Sheba, as exemplified by this disturbing video clip.
2. Hypothesis
In mathematical terms:
Tyra = Idiot
Her fans = Idiots
Her fans= (Tyra)(x)
3. Experiment
I approach an open Tyra Banks fan and ask her if she likes Vaseline. She says yes. I ask her why. She says its because Tyra believes in it.
4. Conclusion
The general idea in chemistry that "like" dissolves in "like" can be proposed here. Tyra banks is an idiot. So are her fans. Therefore both phenotypes' airheads are capable of dissolving into each other, to create an even larger mesh of empty space within the confines of each individual's skull. This is all possible by the medium known as television, though the lack of essential nutrients within this medium makes me want to deem it an "anti-growth medium" rather than the more traditional "growth medium" used in cell biology.
To answer the proposed question, why this woman is still on the air, remains elusive. It is possible that she has rerouted her neural functions to another part of her body, thereby surviving instinctually via an uncharacterized nutrient residing in her adipose cells. Such neural focal points may be her gluteus or pectorals. This remains to be unstudied. We shall propose that study at a later time.
Thank you NIH.
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