Because looking back on my dating history makes me cringe, I've decided to set forth the following criteria to keep me on track with my dating goals. I've also rated the level of my preference of said criteria to give a little leeway for men that need a some tweaking but are almost a perfect 10.
Here it goes.
#1
Acceptable: Watches Cartoon Network for a minimum of 30 minutes a day.
Preferred: Doesn't watch Cartoon Network at all.
#2
Acceptable: Fitting into my size jeans, as long as there is major muffin top action going on.
Preferred: Jeans explosion! If he can even get them on that is.
#3
Acceptable: Similar-sized hands so that hand-holding is a mutual activity.
Preferred: Gorilla hands that have the capacity to manhandle.
#4
Acceptable: Walks at least five minutes a day
Preferred: Walks at least five times a day
#5
Acceptable: Boyish charm
Preferred: Manly charm
Thats all folks. Let me know if you meet someone that fits this description though I must admit that I am very stringent with my new criteria. So much so that I've gotten them tattooed... on my ass.
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