Yea I'm GUJU and I'm Proud

For those of you that don't know the terminology, Guju is short for Gujarati and confers that following fabulous definition on urban dictionary:

Guju
A race of genetic failures that will not spend a penny to give an infant a breath of air. They are known to murder their own family in order hord free items, such as water, dirt or oxygen. Guju refers to a race of individuals that are incapable of using any other ingrediants in their food besides oil and sugar (with the occasional stray onion added). They are known to borrow a knife from an individual and then proceed to plunge it into said individuals back, and then ask to borrow 20 bucks to dry clean said individuals blood off of the guju's clothing.
I.e.: The IRS learned their trade from a Guju.

While I don't agree with the violent tendencies illustrated in this definition, I have become cheap over the years and like to share my money-saving tricks, even if that means I would have to destroy the environment, insult/annoy people, and yes, be a little gross.

One trick for one is at Starbucks. After spending a few weeks bringing my own mug for a coffee pit stop on the way to class every morning, I realized that I was sick and tired of being asked to pay $1 when refills in their own crappy paper cups is only 50 cents. So then instead of lugging my thermo-insulated cup, I started saving their paper cups and stopping in acting like I had already purchased the coffee that morning.

Well, looks like the cup I have been saving for the past 2 weeks had seen better days. It was clearly... old. It was soggy and nearing collapse. But I didn't care. Anything to save 50 cents, and according to urban dictionary, as a guju "I will not spend a penny to give an infant a breath of air" so saving 50 cents is a big damn deal!

So I go up to the register and ask for a "refill" and girl looks at the cup. She proceeds to examine it and looks back at me. Clearly she'd been in the coffee biz for a while since she almost immediately identified that it had been used way more than once. She didn't say anything to me though. After all, I'm brown and I could potentially be hiding a gat in my pant leg. She just got a new cup and gave it to me, but she didn't look to happy about it.

Then she asked me for the 50 cents and I realized that I only had a 50 dollar bill in my wallet. So I hand it to her and she doesn't even touch it. She just looks back at me, and says that she doesn't accept bills larger than 20. "That sucks," I say. "I'd put on my card, but don't you think its stupid to charge 50 cents to a card." She glares back at me. I shine my award-winning smile back at her. She takes the 50 dollar bill and shoves it up her ass. I wanted to throw a few gang signs at her and be like "I'm guju bitch!," but she was white so I doubt she would've understood. Whatever.