If Hip Hop Music Were Real Life

I always wondered where the inspiration for hip hop lyrics actually came from. Salvador Dali's surrealist art was influenced by the Renaissance masters that reigned that art world centuries before. Nabakov's Lolita was inspired by his multilingual background and emigration from Russia. Enlightenment spurred the writing of Beethoven's greatest masterpieces. Then there is Akon, whose source of inspiration continues to remain a mystery to me. His latest song, appropriately named "Sexy Bitch" has topped the music charts, resulting in radio stations near and far playing the song incessantly throughout the day.

While listening to the song, I wonder how things would actually work out if the lyrics were played out in the real world. I'd be dancing in the middle of some dark club. He approaches. I'd see that he's not bad looking and allow him to approach me.

Akon: Oh you're a diva.
Me: (gracious) Thank you.
Akon: You're the baddest thing around town.
Me: Oh you heard the rumor about me too. Don't worry, it's not true. ::wink::
Akon: You're nothing I can compare to your neighborhood hoe.
Me: (awkard) Well, I guess I can take that as a compliment.
Akon: I'm trying to find the words to tell you without being disrespectful.
Me: Uhm. You should leave. Now.

Crushed, Akon will reformulate this conversation into a song and make millions of dollars. I should've bought the rights to that conversation. I could've been a millionaire!