Genetic Recombination

I always strongly believed that beautiful people, coupled with other beautiful people, begot only ugly children. It's all part of that skipping a generation phenomenon. I mean check out the monstrosity that is Rumer Willis, the hybrid created by the union of sexy Bruce Willis and even sexier Demi Moore, as a case in point. Hopefully Rumer's children will take after their grandparents.

But then there are the exceptions that defy this rule. There is Suri Cruise, though I feel her perfection is in part due to the baby formula that gets dropped down from space and sold at $1000 an ounce at the Church of Scientology. Or Brad and Angelina's baby (can't seem to remember their names), though 80% of their brood of children are not genetically their own.

As an avid biologist, I like to keep tabs on beautiful people and their children. I especially like to run pools on pregnant celebrities, not on the due date, but on how ugly their children be on a scale of 1-10 (1 being the ugliest and 10 being not ugly at all). The most recent being Nicole Richie's child, which scored a 3, and was eerily accurate:


To rub even more salt into the wounds, the woman named her child "Harlow". What the hell is this, the 1930s?

Then I came across a "match made in heaven"punnett square: Alessandra Ambrosio and her beau Jamie Mazur.


Dayyyyammnn. I'm jealous. I wish I were named after a delicious salad.

But wait. This is what was hurled out of the loins of the Victoria's Secret Angel:


My, what a stark contrast. Not only does her daughter look nothing like the original, but lacks the fashion sense to boot. Don't give up yet, Ms. Ambrosia. Give it a few years, lose the bow, and you may just may have the chance to work some desk job in the back corner of some office somewhere.