Internet Advertising

Today, I was browsing cookie recipes to make for my annual holiday gift baskets. Amongst the long list of ingredients before me were, butter, eggs, flour, chocolate chips, blah, blah, blah and then boom, an ass. Yes, I said ass. I had just clicked a recipe for a cookie that seemed quite promising this year, Anise Cookies with Lemon Glaze, when on the right hand margin there was this ad gaping back at me:

American Apparel, you finally did it. Not like your signature ads showcasing pre-teen-like girls in compromised positions and enclosed in trailer-park trash type environments was enough. Now you had to go out and demoralize the most unsexy clothing item known to man- the sock. And on a recipe site on top of that. I could still taste the bile in my throat from having to see that next to the words the mean the dearest to my heart: butter and chocolate.

Looking at this ad, I still wonder what AA's angle was supposed to be. First of all, I have never met a person in my 25 years that even wears leotards. (Though to give AA a little credit, I don't know any dancers or strippers.) Excluding sluts, who the hell buys that crap? And if AA is targeting sluts, the last thing that that particular market would want to do is cover up their legs with knee-high socks.

Second of all, who the hell sits like that... in a leotard nonetheless? Man, the only time I'm ever in that position is when I'm scrubbing my shower floor, and it doesn't sound pleasant to do that in a body suit. Nor would I do that with knee-high socks on.

Lastly, how the hell is this ad not censured? Back in the day, seeing even a little cleavage on TV gave said shows a big fat "rated M for mature" disclosure as well as late evening time slots. Nowadays, I can be surfing the web at 7 am, potentially looking for cookies with my 5-year-old son in my lap, and BAM, booty. God help our future generations.

Just to prove to AA that sock advertisements need not be sexually charged, I took a snap of a sock that I knitted myself:

My my my, aren't they a BEAUT! And guess what, no booty required for these bad boys to be admired and for my feet to be the object of envy for all other feet everywhere. And this is being said about a hearty size 10 foot. Imagine how many of these I'd be able to sell if I found some size 0 hottie foot that could really show off my masterpiece? Now that would be sexy.