Pita Pit? More like STUPID Pit!

I walked into a Pita Pit recently, a fast food chain whose motto is "Healthy Thinking, Healthy Eating." I saw the sign and thought to myself "Well, I do think. And I do eat. So I guess this is appropriate." I gained entry through the double doors and was welcomed by a vast menu of options. I was a little bewildered by the fact that Pita Pit's corporate office enforces certain rules that keep the company from living up to its motto. One in particular is making all their employees wear an idiot cap emblazoned with their green and red logo.

I glance over the menu and turned to the blondie behind the cash register. (Her locks were peeking through her cap.) I proudly say "I'll have a Baba Ganoush Pita, please." She gives me an inquisitive look, raising an eyebrow. "Do you know what Baba Ganoush EVEN is? It's EGGPLANT, okay. Do you like EGGPLANT?"

OH MY GOD. WHAT A BITCH! First of all, considering that I have been mistaken for reigning from every 3rd world country spanning the globe (and Italy), I would've preferred that she just assumed that I was Arab like everyone else in this god damn city and gave me my damn pita. Second of all, and please excuse my racism, but what the hell is up with white people's aversion to vegetables!? I always grew up watching Full House and other wholesome family shows where in every episode some stupid Troll-like kid is sitting at the dinner table, being forced to eat brussel sprouts and broccoli by their parents and the audience laughs. Excuse me, but I always liked broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, peas, kale, and yes, even EGGPLANT you dumb blonde bitch.

It was the end of the day. I was tired. I just looked back at the idiot cap and was like "Just give me my pita." She was shocked by my bluntness and nervously put it together. I took my pita and left. I will not be going to Pita Pit again.