Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Union of Two Lonely Souls...

There is nothing creepier than being hit on by some loser in the library. And I wasn't even doing my usual Meera shuffle amongst the stacks, trying to muster up the courage to crack open a book or two. I was actually studying, at a table, purposely BY MYSELF when some thuggish monstrosity came up to me, complete with a sideways basketball team-themed hat and a gold chain.

"Yo, whatch ya studyin'" He asked.
"Uhm, physics." I reply and turn my head back to my books. This boy clearly failed at American Sign Language (and English 101) or some shit because he took me as wanting to continue to talk.
"Whatch yoo studyin' here?"
"Don't know. You?"
"Don't know. Got mah Bachelor's though."
"Oh ok, in what?"
"Don't know like Hissstorreee or somethin'. Don't know what to do now."
::Silence::
"Listen if you got any ideas, hit me up sometime. Mah email iz acleo@pdx.edu."
I pretend to write this down and I proceed to read it back to him:
"Ok so its A-C-L-E-O at P-D-X-dot-E-D-U. Correct?"
"Yea das me. See ya later."

::Sigh::. Finally. I got him to go away. Little did he know that this is what I actually wrote in my notebook:


Listen if you're going to prey on girls at the library, at least do a little research about the school so that you can actually appear as a student rather than a deadbeat that hopes to score a little pootie tang under the romantic reading lights. I wished to email that to him, but clearly I wrote his address down wrong.

6 comments:

  1. we need to get guys like this into clinical trials to extract the gene that makes them mutate into overconfident assclowns that have the nerve to do these kinds of things.

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  2. You know what is funny? You probably ruined Mr. Cleo's chances of getting a job. If a potential employer searches google for acleo@pdx.edu, they would likely find your blog first and then decide to not hire Mr. Cleo and thus you may essentially cause Mr. Cleo's moral decay in society.

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Just for your information, I did not use his REAL email address and also searched the database to ensure the proxy email address does not exist. I think an apology is in order. Leave it to a lawyer to be the aguafiestas.

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  5. lol. at least he didn't call you maria....

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  6. @Nabz, we need to then take this gene and code it into the DNA of boys who actually SHOULD have the confidence but don't have a pair.

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